


Finding Home

by nathynoir313



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: 21 years old, Akumas, Best Friends, Chat Noir can purify akumas, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, LadyNoir - Freeform, Marichat, Miraculous Ladybug Love Square, My First Work in This Fandom, Older Characters, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Adrien Agreste, Protective Chat Noir, Protective Ladybug, Protective Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Protectiveness, adrienette - Freeform, ladrien
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-30 11:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12652419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathynoir313/pseuds/nathynoir313
Summary: Marinette and Adrien have been best friends for as long as they can remeber. After a particularly strong blow that set a fight to an end, one of the heroes is taken by surpise for noticing something simple. After all the time strengthening their bonds, always from both sides of the mask, the new realization is going to change their lives and test their friendship. To make matters even more complicated, there's another akuma attack that takes its toll on one of the heroes. The consequences are showing up, and the childhood friends will go back to the past, trying to figure out what has gone wrong. Can they ever go back to normal? What's hidden behind this new scenario?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This is my first work for the fandom. I've been in love with these characters and universe since last year! I've been gathering up the courage to post something that I wrote, and I'm not sure if it's going to be a one-shot or a long story! Guess I'll just see how it goes! I'm brazillian, so feel free to point out any mispells or grammar mistakes, I'll be glad to fix it. I hope you enjoy this piece! I'll post it on my Tumblr account as well. My user is @nathyaugusta, and the blog's name is "A Cat Who Loves Books". See you around! :)

He never knew how hard it would hit him.

In a glimpse, the shade of bluebells filled each and every thought and memory that came to his mind. A simple conclusion came to the boy by a daily detail: an expression. The fierce protectiveness adorning Ladybug’s features reminded him of a kind, confident and just as brave girl. Who was mostly known as his best friend: Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

In that moment, Chat didn’t waver. He didn’t pretend it was too good to be true or that he was seeing things. For in that instant, the black leather cladded Adrien Agreste subconsciously understood that he had chosen not to see. He had chosen to blatantly ignore the same worry present in a gentle hand on his shoulder along with a tiny frown, from both his Princess and his Lady, every time his façade shone through his smile. She was the only person that noticed every. Single. Time.

Sometimes it annoyed him, because he was so easily read by her. Both in and out of the suit. Marinette could always tell when he wasn’t feeling well, when  his insecurities were getting the best of him, when the loneliness crept from the corners of his mind, dragging him down. Ladybug would always sit with him to talk, and convinced him to do so when he was pretending to feel fine. She was tough and had the attitude of “let´s get the job done” in front of other people, but she’d never, not even once, let him feel like he couldn’t count on her.  It felt as though she always payed attention to the details, only one step ahead on the road of making him feel better, and getting him back on his feet.

Good thing was that he didn’t give it too much thought. Acting mostly on Chat’s instincts, he lurched forward to stop the – instants later, and now blank stared – girl from falling to the ground. Her knees gave out, buckling underneath her. Catching Mari’s limp form just in time, he settled on the floor, cradling his Lady’s body to his. He tried to be rational but all he could think of was _Please don’t let it be too bad. Let it be only a small bump, I can’t lose her too._

“Kitty?” came a hoarse, close to soundless whisper. Trying to be strong, he looked at her, putting up his façade, building up his walls. Ironically, he was doing it to keep her safe. He wasn’t prepared to hear what she would say next.

“Don’t you dare putting up that façade in front of me _Adrien_.”

The boy froze, too scared to move. Looking at his friend with wide eyes, he asked her.

 “How did you know?”

It came out as a faint whisper. Her now half-lidded bluebell eyes glowed with tears as she stared at him intently, and smiled. Booping his nose, she giggled at him fondly.

“I’d recognize my Kitty’s eyes anywhere.”

The lump on his throat made him unable to reply at the moment. The nickname. Even before he became Chat Noir, Marinette had always called him Kitty, ever since their childhood. She would say that Adrien’s eyes resembled little kitten’s, and so she always addressed him by the fond nickname. He would have never figured out she knew about his hero identity, because Mari called him that since they were kids. Ironically, it suited his superhero persona.

Picturing all the things they had been through, his eyes teared up. There, right in front of him, was his reckless, brave and amazing best friend and partner. If it weren’t for the fact that she was hurt and bruised, he could have leapt in joy. They had grown up together, going through all the awkwardness of their teenage and college days, and always filing their moments together with puns (Adrien’s contribution), eye rolling (mostly Marinette) and tons of laughter, movies, homework, arguments, tears, hugs and fun.

His world had fallen apart once, but she was always there. He couldn’t bear the idea of losing his best friend, after all the losses he had faced. Perfect family, never knew. For as long as he could remember after the painful loss of his parents, Marinette and her family had been his safe haven. When he was with Mari and Ladybug he found the happiness that long ago, once filled his days with laughter and smiles of a family of his own. He couldn’t let it all be lost, couldn’t allow it to be just a fading memory of the most joyful days of his childhood and youth.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me before Mari? At school, on patrol…do…did…” _Did you wait till now so you could say it’s over? Can we still be friends? Do you actually like being with me?_ The poor boy’s mind only tormented and pushed him to bring forward his darkest insecurities and fears. That’s why he hated being an open book. At the same time it allowed him to be understood by Mari, it made him vulnerable. It made him feel afraid of abandonment and solitude.  Deep down, a quiet, small voice fought and struggled to make itself heard on his head. He decided to focus on it instead of drowning in the upcoming and dark corners of his mind.. _Of  course she cares. She has always been there for you. Mari and Ladybug have been your shoulder to cry on, partner in all times, your pun hating ( but secretly loving) Lady. Your caring, but fierce (and extremely clumsy) Princess and best friend_. _She hasn’t given you any reason to doubt her friendship and care for you. She’s been there ever since you were kids. She never left._

Gaze averting from her, he hung his head low.

 “I wanted you to get to that conclusion on your own. And I didn’t want to mess up our friendship.” She admitted quite sheepishly.

He just couldn’t bring himself to look at her, feeling guilty for doubting her never wavering care for the bond they shared.

Raising her hand with some difficulty to caress his cheek, it was her turn to avert her gaze. It was a lot to take in, and she was waiting on his reaction. So they both were met with surprise when he chuckled softly, shaking his head.

“Silly Bugaboo. You couldn’t possibly ruin our friendship by letting me know you’re my best friend. But it’s ok, I get it. I probably would have done the same, but wouldn’t have handled it quite as smoothly as you did, Mari…clumsiness and all.”

“Hey!” She frowned at him, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wait, wait, wait! Is that why you wouldn’t laugh at my puns on patrol? ‘Cause you didn’t want to give yourself away?” Tilting his eyebrows he looked at her with a teasing look.

Her expression turned flat, before a smirk adorned her beautiful face.

“Nope, just because they are really bad Chaton. I had to be fierce about them, who know? Perhaps you would stop!”

“You wound me Mari.”

“Who am I kidding? You know I love your puns. They are ridiculous, but I give you credit for the creativity.”

“It still hurts though.” Adrien just couldn’t drop the teasing, so he pouted at his Lady.

Marinette couldn’t help but start laughing. She was almost out of breath, until the pain, soreness and tiredness caught up with her all at once, Leaving her slightly huffing for air, trying to contain the still erupting giggles that escaped. The pain from her bruises and muscle fatigue put an end to it though.

“I think I don’t want to walk Adrien.” Leaving the pout behind, the cat grinned at her. Shining his pearly whites at her.

“Are you asking for a ride home Mari?!!” Shaking her head slightly, Marinette mumbled to herself.

“ _I’m so going to regret this_... Yup, I’m asking for a ride home Chat.”

“Does that mean we can have a sleepover?” The hope on his tone made it impossible for Marinette to say no to.

“Of course we can have a sleepover Kitty.”

And so they went. The two best friends soaring through Paris, about to figure out even more about their bond. That’s who they were. Two halves of a whole. They were _home._

  

 


	2. Nicknames and Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I saw that some people have read, and I even got a comment! So, inspiration struck like lightening, so here I am.. with another chapter! Really hope you all like it! Again, feel free to point out grammar mistakes, mispellings or anything of the sort! :) Enjoy!

Chapter 2

_“I’m laughing with my lover, building forts under covers, trust him like a brother, yeah you know I did one thing right. Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night.”_

Easy? Nope, not at all. Adrien was having a hard time. He was totally excited to be able to share freely with Mari, knowing she was also Ladybug. What was not so easy…not letting their nicknames slip. Not seeing threats in inoffensive objects from random people. Like that morning. Yeah, that morning was a good example.

_10 hours earlier on that same day…_

Adrien and Marinette always walked together. Usually he’d let Mari on her work place, and head on to his. They were pretty close. Both friends had circles under their eyes, which usually happened when they had sleepovers. They always stayed up late on their sleepovers. He was yawning a lot, which annoyed him. And Mari couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“You have no resistance to stay up late Kitty!” she’d say every time. He’d nudge her on her side, and try to contain his grin while she bursted in laughter.

_Well, I was tired._ Trying to blame his lack of sleep was his best defense for what happened that morning. They had just gotten to the tall building in which Marinette taught her fashion students, and worked on her designs.

Knowing she was Ladybug made him more aware, and more cautious about everything surrounding him. His Chat instincts were always analyzing their whereabouts. And he had always felt protective over Mari. And she was like that towards him.

So when they got inside, someone tried to approach Marinette, and the only thing Adrien’s mind processed on its sleepy haze, was the silver glimmer of something. Something coming towards Marinette. Towards his Lady.

“WOW! Be careful Ladyb—little miss, yoouuu…who are you?” Pointing his finger accusingly at the surprised boy who was trying to approach Marintte, Adrien was just about to burst into a pile of humiliation. Wide-eyed, Marinette tried to make sense of what was going on with Adrien, until she saw what caught his attention.

“Adrien, this is my student, Luke. And that, on his hand, is a pen. You’ve seen a pen before, right?”

“Pff, of course I’ve seen a pen before My La- Marinette. What do you take me for?”

“Oooookay then. Just hang in there for a sec. What do you need me to sign Luke?”

Looking back at his fashion teacher, the boy focused on the task at hand.

“Oh, sorry to bother, Miss Dupain-Cheng. I just need your signature to leave early today from the lecture. I’ve got a doctor appointment and I won’t be able to attend, so I need you to sign this please.”

“That’s just fine. I’ll email today’s lesson and your tasks. Remember you need to show me your new designs, ok?”

“Sure thing miss, I’ll bring it to you this Friday.”

“That’s fine. There you go Luke. See you tomorrow.”

“Thanks. Bye Miss Dupain-Cheng, and bye Mr...”

“Agreste.” Marinette replied with a grin. “ This is Adrien Agreste, my childhood friend. Adrien, this is Luke.

Recovering from the ridiculous situation, Adrien mumbled a reply.

“Nice to meet you Luke.” The boy nodded once in greeting, and left through the doors the two friends had just gone through to enter the building.

Marinette turned to look at Adrien properly. She pulled him towards the elevator, pushing the button to her floor.

“Are you okay Kitty?”

“I’m all _write_ Mari. It’s just so difficult to remember to differentiate our nicknames now that I know you’re Ladybug. And it’s also hard to remember that not everybody is a threat, and that we’re not under attack. That was a pen for goodness’ sake!”

“First of all, that pun was awful. Second, yeah, you’ve always been pretty bad at keeping things Kitty, but relax, you’ll get used to it. And finally, I know we’re protective of each other, but you know I’m tough right? So stay calm. If you need anything, you know where to find me. Now go. Otherwise you’ll get late for that press-conference about your new article and you need to get there on time.”

“Right, I forgot about that! Gotta run, see you for lunch Mar!”

Marinette laughed. Adrien would only call her Mar sometimes, but she was pretty fond of the nickname. She parted from him when the elevator reached her floor. Waving him bye, she greeted her students.

Adrien was now in a hurry to get to his work place. As he walked, dodging from other people on the sidewalk, he started to think about his childhood days. About how caring thay had always been toward each other.

Ever since they were kids, Marinette took as her full-time responsibility taking care of Adrien, and making sure that he was happy, and was able to connect and bond with their classmates. He was kind of lost in the beginning, as the boy wasn’t an extrovert such as Mari, but he was getting better at it, little by little beginning to share jokes and puns with a few of his classmates. Things were going fine, and Adrien felt like he could leave the recent pain from his loss behind. The circumstances seemed to be only improving and the little boy felt like maybe, just maybe, he could abandon his walls.

He was too young to understand them, but they were there. Blocking him from the rest of the world, from actually being happy. Marinette was the only one to break them, and actually _see_ him. Adrien felt like his world might be getting its colors for real. When he was with Mari they came back all at once. But he finally felt like it might not be only him depending on Mari’s light. For the first time that year, he felt like he was getting his own light back. Too early though, they found out kids could be cruel.

_11  years ago…_

Mari and Adrien were ten years old. It was Mother’s Day at school, and Marinette was trying to cheer her friend up. Pulling him by the hand, she insisted that he tagged along to meet their colleagues. The girl didn’t want her friend to feel lonely. She knew how much he missed his mom.

“Come on Kitty, it’s going to be fun! You know what, I’ll share my Mommy with you! My mommy is your mommy!” The little boy giggled a little, always wondering how his friend could be so positive and caring. Marinette was different from the other children. She didn’t ask him questions he didn’t want to answer, didn’t pry, but was always there to listen to whatever it was he wanted to share with her, whenever he felt like it.

He felt like, perhaps, that day wouldn’t be that bad. Some people just wanted to make sure he was wrong.

“Such a loser! Doesn’t have a mom! What sort of kid doesn’t have a mom? She must have left you behind. Freak! You’re so pathetic!”

Jay. He was two years older, and always teased the kids on Adrien’s and Marinette’s year. The younger boy withered, shoulders slumping, and eyes tearing up. He always tried to contain his tears, trying to be as strong as his father, but it just hurt a lot. It had been only one year since the car accident that killed his parents.

“Why are you so mean Jay? Just leave Adrien and I alone!”  Marinette hated what Jay did, and she knew his words could hurt just like knives. She already felt hurt, vulnerable and insecure. She didn’t want Adrien to feel like that too.

“Oh, so little Adrien can’t speak for himself? He has to be defended by a girl! A baker’s daughter, even worse!” Jay would howl with laughter, and the sound always made the kids want to cover their ears. But Marinette didn’t shy away. She shot the older boy a fiery look, crossing her tiny arms in front of her.

“What’s wrong with being a baker’s daughter?”

“You’re just weak. And you’ll always be weak.” Balling her hands into fists, the short ten year-old was able to shoot a reply, when a just as tiny hand clasped one of her fists, and she turned back to look at her best-friend. Adrien was just about to crumble apart right before her eyes. Her fiery look dissolved into worry. With a last burning stare toward Jay, she took Adrien’s hand, and walked to the other side of the street.

Hearing Jay and the other boy’s laughter made Marinette’s blood boil, but for her best friend’s sake, she just ignored them. Holding her Kitty’s hand tightly, she went straight to their house, and to her balcony.

Setting a plate with a chocolate croissant and a glass of milk, she took her favorite blanket, putting it around Adrien’s shoulders. He let the tears roll freely, the pain evident on his green eyes. Marinette just sat by his side. She couldn’t understand why some people were so mean. Jay seemed to find pleasure in terrorizing and inflicting pain on other children.  Adrien just didn’t deserve any of that. She hated to see him so sad. But she knew that he needed his space. During those moments, being by his side was enough. Sometimes he’d speak. Other times he’s just rest his head on her shoulder, or just hug her until his sobs subsided. And she was always there for him.

 Many times since he moved to the Dupain-Cheng’s house, he would wake up in the middle of the night, from dreams in which his family was still whole. When they were all still happy. He loved living with Marinette and her parents, but the vivacity of the dreams always made him wake up feeling like the accident had happened right in that moment. The joy in the dreams _seemed_ real. The pain when we woke up _was_ real.

He would take his pillow and, silently, walk down the hallway to Marinette’s room. He’d open the door just a little bit, check if the coast was clear and lay down on her chaise. She used to talk during her sleep, and surprisingly, it usually soothed the little boy’s heart, which ached for the reality only present on his dreams.

“Kitty…it’s nice…so fluffy…” She would say the craziest stuff, but he didn’t mind. It always lulled him to sleep.

_11 years later_

He smiled fondly. He’d still do that sometimes. Many of them, he’d be surprised to wake while it was still dark to find Marinette sleeping on the floor, next to the chaise while holding his hand. When she did that, there were no nightmares for the rest of the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeey again! So, hope you have enjoyed this chapter! I'm working on their backgroung as kids, and I'm still not sure where I'm going with this, so I'm just following my inspiration, and your reactions! If you feel like it, please leave me some feedback , so I know how I can improve and your thoughts on this piece. Hope you're enjoying this, let's see where we get! :)


	3. Timing and Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I've seen that some people have read these first two chapters, and I've been feeling super excited to update this fic! Chapter 3 will be a tad bit small, but that's because I'm intending to post Chapter 4 today, or tomorrow, which is a lot for me! I'm on a College Entrance Exams moment, so I'm almost free, but not totally! Hope you enjoy! Make sure to find me on Tumblr! I'm @nathyaugusta there, and would love to answer any questions! Well, truly hope you do enjoy! So...there you go!

_“There now, steady love. So few come and don’t go. Will you, won’t you… Be the one I’ll always know? When I’m losing my control, the city spins around. You’re the only who knows, you slow it down.”_

_( Look After You – The Fray )_

_<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iYOOuJLuaY> _

Running.

Marinette had never done that amount of running on her entire life. Looking back at memories and old sensations as her frantic mind tried to dig into past experiences for possible solutions, she recalled a time when both her and Adrien were trying to catch the school bus, as they both were late for school, and that was about it. No occasion of the sort occurred to her. Nothing that could help her, nor make her feel safe.

Her lungs burned from the effort of running for so long. And her calf muscles were nearly making her collapse to the ground. Her whole body had a layer of sweat, and she was afraid that her heartbeat was audible through the eerie silence that took over that specific part of town.

At least on the bus incident, she was with Adrien. Now she was alone. Alone and so, so _scared_. She had never feared so much in her dear life. Turning inside an alley, she cornered herself behind some cardboard boxes, shrinking to occupy as little space as possible considering she was an average 21 year old.

None of it should have happened. The sound of footsteps in the distance let her whole body in an instance of wariness. _Please…don’t let…I can’t…Just…W-why?_

Her shadow caused her fear, the dripping sound of something leaking somewhere made her shiver. This was the worst day of her life. And her own burning hell began because she tripped over someone’s foot. All happy thoughts, memories or glimpses of kind green eyes were replaced with fear in its purest form.

_2 hours earlier…_

She had forgotten about Luke’s designs, it was Friday night, and it only occurred to her that she was missing something when her eyes met the sticky note on her drawer, with big, capital letters “LUKE’S DESIGNS, FRIDAY 8:30pm”. Turning wide-eyes to look at her table clock, she jumped from her chair.

_21:25 pm_ the clock told her silently. _I totally forgot about Luke’s designs! And I’ve already told Adrien that I would have to stay at work ‘till later tonight. And I still have to tell Adrien about…oh no. I need to get there on time! The people who invited him to the Physics Congress told us he’d need to reply today, and he has probably forgotten, and then he’s going to miss his flight ticket and traveling package! And-_ Barely taking time to turn off the lights, and get her work bag, Marinette shot straight to the elevator, slamming the button to get out of the building. As speeding through the doors of the entrance hall, she quickly typed an email reply to Luke

_ “Hey Luke, this is Miss Dupain-Cheng.  _

_ I got held up with work in the office, and didn’t see time pass! I have an appointment this weekend, and I won’t be at the building on Monday. Can we reschedule to Tuesday? I’ll make sure to let my assistant know. Also, don’t forget to email me the sketches before Tuesday, so I can talk to you about my observations.” _

Pressing send, she was about to call Adrien, at the same time the pedestrian’s sign turned green. The call went to voice message, and she was annoyed. She missed the appointment with her student, and now Adrien wouldn’t pick up the phone. He had only … Looking at her wrist watch to check the time, her eyes widened again.

21:37

They told them that he’d need to confirm his attendance until 22:30! It was one of the most important events of the year for him. It was the end of the term, though, and Adrien was running around like crazy, and probably forgot to reply. _I’ll make sure to buy him some sticky notes, though. I can’t be the one who reminds him of everything!_

 Marinette was so focused on the little chaos going on inside her head, that she totally missed the stressed looking guy in the shadows from the other side of the street. She missed when he crossed the crosswalk, and totally didn’t notice when he got to the sidewalk, running full face into him, making him drop the pile of papers carefully stacked, tightly held in his hands. It had started to rain. The papers got all wet, and some people stepped on them as they passed.

Paying attention to her whereabouts, Marinette was mortified to see the mess she made. When it was her, and her stuff, she could take care of it.

“I’m so sorry sir! Please let me pay you to print them again, I’m truly sorry. My name’s Marinette, I can give you my phone, or I can go with you to print it in a store somewhere around here.” The man wore an expensive looking suit, and had his hair slicked back, and a severe look.

“Get your hands off of it! You’ve done enough. Now leave. Leave before you ruin anything else.” The young woman was shocked, but respected the man’s wishes. Nodding once, totally embarrassed and sad, she left slowly, pretending she didn’t hear the cursing and didn’t feel the cold stare on her back coming from the man.

She missed when he turned to another street, that one deserted, and was met by a purple butterfly, and a malicious grin adorning the newest akuma’s face.

Sadly, this akuma was different. He didn’t attack anyone who randomly appeared on his path. Turns out the man was a famous psychiatric, who was running late for a lecture on how to help people who suffer from trauma. He was so mad that his whole presentation and work had gotten wet and dirty, and that the silly girl hought she could fix it, that he totally lost his grasp on his emotions. He now called himself _Nighmare_.

If his name wasn’t suggestive enough, his sole purpose was to get Marinette stuck inside her worst nightmares, fears and insecurities. He would be able to lock her into her own mind. It would only take… stopping his thoughts, he paid attention to the sounds. He heard someone approaching from the other side of the sidewalk. A bluenette. Head hanging low, and barely succeeding on covering her head with her jaquet under the pouring rain, she looked pretty miserable.  

“Marinette” he growled. The hatred and fury on _Nightmare’s_ tone made her turn to look, and that was enough. The akuma’s blank, cold and deadly stare met the young woman’s. Her bluebell eyes lost their spark. Her face paled to a sick, white tone. Her dull eyes were frantic.

Nightmare didn’t want anything but to accompany Marinette’s misery and despair. The realization that he could watch as the girl suffered from an inside out turmoil felt pretty pleasant. It was a little too much even to Hawkmoth, but he did nothing to stop. So, sitting by to watch, he accompanied closely as the girl started to run.

She ran as though her life depended on it. The devilish grin on Nightmare’s face grew bigger. And he laughed loudly. Watching the girl, and easily keeping up with her, taking long strides not to lose her from sight. The rain only got thicker, the droplets falling hard from the dark grey clouds.

_On the present moment (2 hours later)_

If Marinette had stopped running, it was only because she had found a way to hide herself from whatever was pursuing her. She had never felt so scared, and so alone. And what made her even more terrified was that she couldn’t _remember._ On the back of her mind, something told her to focus on someone. Aside from a flash of green and yellow, and black, she couldn’t join the pieces of the puzzle. So she just kept huffing for air, trying to avoid the sound of the droplets falling hard around her, the shadows from the street, and the fear that was swelling up on her chest.

 

                          

* * *

                  

Tikki thought they were going home. Marinette had to remind Adrien of the congress, and she had forgotten about her appointment to see Luke’s designs. The kwami was taking a nap, so she only noticed that something was wrong, when she heard a growling voice calling Marinette, and when she felt the girl’s reaction to run. She peeked at her chosen from the purse’s side, and she felt an odd presence. The blank stare on Marinette’s face just confirmed her suspicions. Her chosen had been hit by an akuma. Tikki tried to call Marinette, repeating the girl’s name over and over again, but she didn’t seem to be able to hear her.

In the approximate two hours since she’d been taken prisoner to her own mind, she’s stopped only five times, hiding in alleyways for some minutes before running. It was raining cats and dogs, but it seemed that her chosen feared even the rain in that very instant. On her sixth stop, she didn’t get up. She sat near some cardboard boxes, and simply shivered, trembled, and shut her eyes, trying to escape the fears that tormented her mind. _Loneliness, losing her loved ones, feeling completely powerless._ The tears rolled freely down her face, mingling with the rain droplets. Tikki was extremely worried, because when Marinette cried, she couldn’t contain the sobs that usually erupted from her. Now, adding to her dull eyes, the girl had gone completely silent. Her face expressed fear, but not a single cry for help, nor a scream escaped her chosen’s lips.

_I have no other option. I must find Adrien. He needs to destroy this akuma, I’m not sure how long it will take until Marinette’s body collapses…neither do I know how much longer her mind can endure her fears…_

Noticing the Akuma’s silent approach, nearly reaching the alley, Tikki zipped from Marinette’s purse as quickly as she could. Turning back one last time before she actually left her chosen’s side, she prayed silently that she could be fast enough. She had to be.

Desperate to get help as quick as possible, Tikki sent a message, connecting her mind to Plagg’s. It was the fastest way to get Adrien ready, so they could get back to Marinette as quickly as possible. The ladybug kwami’s reassurance came from knowing that as far as it came to identity, her Ladybug was safe. For now. She had to make sure it remained as it was.

**_Plagg! Marinette is in trouble. She’s not transformed. The Akuma got to her before she could do so. She’s in trouble._ ** _**Get Adrien ready! NOW.**_

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger! I'm trying not to be too obvious, and I'm quite excited for the development of this piece! I'd love to hear what you think on comments, or on my page on Tumblr @nathyaugusta ! Feel free to comment, I'll post the new chapter there today too! Hope you're all having a good week! Thanks for reading! :)


	4. Storms and Balance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I reeeeeally appreciate the kudos and views! I wasn't able to post the chapter yesterday, but here it is! I'm doing this for fun, and I truly hope you enjoy this piece. I'm usually really insecure about my writing, but I've decided to give it a shot, and I'm really loving to write this fic! Thank you for taking some time to read, you can always talk to me on Tumblr, I'm @nathyaugusta there! Enjoy!

_“Honey, when you feel worn out. When the mirror lies and turns on you…When the choruses of doubt are singing way too loud. Honey, I will chase them down… Honey, that's what love's about.”_

_( Honey – Mindy Gledhill )_

_ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kAPgjRyRJU _

****

Plagg was startled from munching his dear piece of Camembert by a sudden burst of words, forming into an urgent message. It had to be urgent, because the only occasions in which he and Tikki used their telepathic communication was when they didn’t have any other options, or when one of their chosen was in terrible danger.

**_Plagg! Marinette is in trouble. She’s not transformed. The Akuma got to her before she could do so. She’s in trouble._ ** _**Get Adrien ready! NOW.**_

That was bad. Oh, that was so bad. He had to warn Adrien. His chosen would totally freak out knowing his childhood friend and partner was, probably, in mortal danger. Plagg was intrigued though. Tikki’s chosen was one of the toughest Ladybugs he’d ever seen.

The girl was never reluctant on expressing her leadership skills, was always brave, courageous and had just the perfect amount of sass. Even though the cat kwami considered himself pretty selective when it regarded humans, he had really grown fond of the young woman. Part of it came from seeing all that she did for Adrien. The boy either had Marinette or Ladybug, who ended up being one and the same, to hear him, talk to him, discuss silly stuff, and protect him.

He let go of his thoughts though. No matter how tough the girl was, it seemed she had been caught off of guard. They had to get there fast.

Adrien was focused on his sandwich. If Marinette had seen it she would be mad. She used to cook for them when they came back late from work, as the boy was a hopeless cook. But that also didn’t matter at the moment.

“ADRIEN!” the young man jumped from his chair, leaving his sandwich on the plate.

“Dear lord, what is it Plagg? What’s the need for screaming?” Adrien turned to look at his cat kwami. The seriousness on Plagg’s usually mocking expression made him alert at the same instant. “What’s wrong Plagg?”

“Tikki has sent me an urgent message. Marinette is in trouble, and wasn’t able to transform. There is-” the kwami didn’t finish talking, turning briskly toward the window. Adrien accompanied the movement, trying to see what captured his attention.

Phasing through the window right that instant, was the ladybug kwami, Tikki. She was huffing for air, and seemed to be eager to be able to say whatever it was she had to say. Before anything else could happen, Adrien started freaking out.

“Tikki! Where’s Marinette? What happened?” The little kwami landed on Adrien’s hand, saying the words in a hush.

“Marinette. Akuma. Not transformed. He got her. He isn’t doing anything. She’s not doing well.”

“Is she injured?” The panic started to rise from the back of his mind, but he kept it down. It wouldn’t help Marinette if he just lost his control.

“No. Not yet. The Akuma calls himself Nightmare. Marinette… we don’t, we- we…” the ladybug kwami sobbed slightly, and it made Adrien’s heart feel tight. “We- she doesn’t have enough time. Her body or her mind, or both will collapse, she’s been running for almost two hours, and now she won’t get up, and I had to, I had to leave her with the akuma. They don’t know her identity, but we have to get there fast. I’m not sure how long she will endure it. And you have to be careful Adrien. The akuma did not even touch Marinette. The second I noticed something was wrong, she was already running blank stared, and pale. It must be by his stare, so please don’t be reckless. Transform, we’ve got to go **_right now_**.”  Adrien called up his transformation, turning to his black cat hero persona, Chat Noir.

“I can lead you to where she is, I can still feel her. She’s tough, so she’s handling it. But I don’t know for how long she’ll be able to do so.” Adrien wasn’t sure if he was ready to deal with that situation. Ladybug had always been the toughest between the two of them, he’d never dealt with an akuma that strong on his own. And he had to protect Marinette and her identity…

He had to be ready. He was. He would _always_ be ready for her.

“Lead the way Tikki.”

* * *

 Marinette remembered. The flash of green…Adrien. Adrien was dead. He was dead, her parents were dead, Tikki was gone, she was alone, stuck in a bitter, lonely world. She’d never be able to see Adrien smile, to run on rooftops with Chat, to hug her parents, walk to work with Adrien. They were gone.

They were all **_gone._** She had no one left.

Those thoughts themselves were enough to bring her to the deepest feeling of despair and abandonment that she could ever recall feeling on her entire life. She couldn’t remember how she lost them, why Tikki and Plagg were gone, the only thing she had was a solid certainty filling her heart: they were dead.

She felt like she was going insane, and that her whole complexion was fading away, slipping by her fingertips. The world around the corners of her eyes was turning black, little by little. Marinette couldn’t bring herself to get up, to move, scream, sob, anything. The tears rolling down her face did not even feel real, as she didn’t feel real herself.

She wished to disappear. To be taken away. The feeling inside her heart seemed to be dragging her more and more toward an intangible and everlasting darkness…and she didn’t have the strength or the will to do anything about it.

Soon she’d be gone too.

 

* * *

Adrien wasn’t ready. The problem was not the akuma. He’d use his cataclysm on him if he had to, that’s how furious he felt. But somethings were mingled with his fury, and they were _fear, hurt, worry_. **_Fear_** of seeing the strongest person he knew, coiled up next to cardboard boxes, sitting on an alleyway, crying silently a waterfall of tears, eyes blank, dull of the sparkle that he loved to see whenever Marinette was excited about something, or when she smiled. It was a part of her, and it was simply _gone_.

It **_hurt_** to see her pale face, her whole body shaking from the shivers that were running through her. She wasn’t fighting it. It seemed that whatever illusion she was trapped into, she was actually being led to believe that, that would be her end as well. Marinette was always confident and sure about herself and her objectives. That _was not how_ his Mar was.

And that’s why he **_worried_**. He’d never thought he’d see her like that, and knowing that the responsible for her suffering was Hawkmoth…it made his blood boil. The closest he could get from hitting Hawkmoth was attacking his akuma. And oh, how he despised that akuma. It took all his years of being Chat Noir, and the rest of his good sense not to strangle his and Ladybug’s enemy’s newest pawn.  

He wouldn’t let him win. He would never take his family away from him. Marinette was his family, his home. He was not about to let it happen. He did not have many people he loved in his life, and Marinette was pretty much his sunshine. Adrien could always count on her, and he was forever grateful for her just…being her. She lit up the world of those around her, had her flaws like anybody else, but she was always trying. She deserved a happy, long life. He almost wished for her happiness more than he wished for his own. They were best buddies, partners, friends, family. Perhaps… it didn’t occur to him in that moment, but any observer would notice the possibility and the huge ‘what if?’ that the two friends represented. And they both deserved to have the chance to consider it.

He noticed a transparent device covering the top half of the akuma’s face. With a fight that didn’t last long, and one well hit punch on Nightmare, Chat broke the source of his Lady’s terror, noticing though that the akuma only laughed.

“You may have defeated me, but I’ve made her _broken_. And that, _Chat Noir,_ I doubt you or Ladybug can fix.”  The akuma then turned back to a fancy dressed man, and Adrien went through the process of cleaning up. In that moment it took all of his control not to check up on Marinette. He took the man to the other side of the street, and headed back to his Lady. Catching the butterfly on one hand, Adrien picked Marinette up with one arm, helping her stand, with an arm around his neck, vaulting them both toward a far off rooftop.

He helped her lay against the chimney. The process of cleaning up was simple, but it had a delicacy that collided with Chat Noir’s potential for destruction. It was as if he could have a moment in which he was able to provide the balance that was lacking in the world. Adrien didn’t get to do it many times, but he really liked it. So he began. Picking up Marinette’s left hand, he tangled their fingers together. Taking the akuma on his left hand, he’d bring it close to his heart and say.

“I release you from darkness. Bring back what you took away.” For the cleansing to happen, he had to be holding  Ladybug’s hand. In the moment their hands intertwined, there was balance. And so he could bring back what was broken. Literally, at least. But he didn’t think about other broken things that had to be fixed at the moment. Opening his right hand, which held the butterfly, he released the cleansed, back to white insect, into the night sky, bringing his attention now to Marinette.

Her breath was barely audible, and her eyes were closed.

“Mari?” She didn’t move. “Princess? Please, open your eyes, I need to see your eyes.” She still didn’t make a move. “Mar? Please…” Adrien was whispering, and felt his eyes tearing up. Suddenly, Marinette opened her eyes wide, locking them with Chat’s only for sheer disbelief and confusion fill them. She began hyperventilating, and Adrien didn’t know what to do. Until _that_ look.

Marinette looked at him with her bluebell sparkling eyes filled with tears…and disbelief, and _pain…_ then shock. Her eyes were wide, she seemed to be getting back to herself…but then they rolled back inside her head, and she passed out. Adrien cradled her body to his, letting some of his tears escape from relief. She was alive. She wasn’t injured, she was only overwhelmed. Picking her up again, he nestled her head to the curve of his neck, holding her tight against him. By instinct, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and wrapped her legs around his torso. He carried her to their home.

Adrien felt his heart warm up by her closeness, by her breath tickling his neck, and her arms holding him. She was fine, they were fine.

He couldn’t possibly know about the nightmares plaguing her poor worn out mind, being tormented by terrors even worse than the ones Nightmare had imprisoned her inside earlier that same day. He’d find out soon though. But right inthat moment, his ignorance provided him a moment of peace. They had each other. And that made all the difference in the world.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love this characters! I'm working real slowly on their feelings, because I'm loving to explore their firendship, since they've grown up together! It's been really nice to develop little by little their thouhts and feelings, and we might be ready for quite the rollercoaster! Hope you guys liked it, if you feel like it, please leave kudos or comments, so I can have some feedback on your thoughts ont he story. Now I'm done with High School, I've only got a few College Entrance Exams left, but I'll be able to update more frequently ( I hope! )! See ya, hope you have a wonderful Sunday, and a great week! I'm on Tumblr as well as @nathyaugusta ! Thanks for reading! :)


	5. Priorities and Insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeey there! So, it's been a while since I last posted. Between starting college, driving school and tons of other things, life was pretty busy and I was not feeling so inspired. But I'm back! And this one is the longest chapter I've written for this fic. I really do hope you guys like it! If you have any questions, suggestions or feedback and general, I'd love to hea what you have to say. Also, this is my first fic, English is not my Mother Language ( though I love it so much) so there might be some grammar mistakes, and I apologize for that, feel free to point them out! Enjoy! I'm glad to post another chapter!

Chapter 5

_“Can you meet me halfway? Right at the borderline is where I’m gonna wait for you. I’ll be looking out, night and day. Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I’ll stay.”_

_( Meet Me Halfway – Black Eyed Peas)_

_ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7HahVwYpwo _

__

Every day since the akuma attack proved to be a struggle for Marinette.

Starting from day one.

The girl jumped from her bed, her heart beating like crazy and a layer of sweat covering her forehead. She ... was alone again? No... She didn’t want to believe it. Acknowledging her surroundings made her a tad bit calmer but she was still on edge. Taking care not to remember her nightmares, she noticed a blanket and pillow draped over her chaise, next to her bed. It was empty. Her mind couldn’t make sense out of it, until her door started to open silently. Scared, she recoiled on her bed, using the sheets and pillows as protection. She couldn’t just forget all she felt from the night before and she was somehow unsure and insecure about what she would find after she woke up.

All of that made perfect sense for her and on the young woman’s mind her defense plan was her best option.

Of course her resolution turned to dust when she saw a mop of blonde hair and a lean figure entering her room. The flash of green was enough confirmation for Marinette. Her mind was flowing with memories and familiarity. So she did the one logical thing she could think of: ran towards him.

The young man was then attacked full force by a trembling Marinette, who held on to his waist like her life depended on it. Adrien took merely a second to process and he dropped the towel he was holding, returning the hug on a protective shell around his best friend and partner. He was so relieved. He could feel his shoulders relaxing and the tension dissipating from his limbs.

Contrary to what he thought, Marinette seemed to feel even more stressed. The trembling didn’t cease like he had expected to. But now it was because she was crying, tiny sobs escaping her lips.  

“Mar, what’s wrong?” she just shook her head against his chest, not replying to his question. He was about to raise her head delicately towards him so he could see her eyes but just that instant, Marinette took a step back, getting herself out of his protective embrace.

Turning her back to him, she took a couple more steps away from her childhood friend and partner and seemed to be struggling to regain her composure, her back moving as she took what seemed to Adrien to be deep breaths.

She then finally looked at him, with a smile that looked too stretched and way too bright and said the last thing he expected her to say.

“I’m fine!” Adrien’s eyebrows rose up under his blond bangs and he stared back at her, with an expression familiar to Marinette from growing up with him. It meant _Do you really expect me to believe that?_

She didn’t. But at the same time she weakly hoped that he was going to let it pass. But how could she convince him if she couldn’t even convince herself? One side of her defended that she should tell Adrien everything; after all, he was not only her best friend, but probably the only other person to which she could address such matters.

The stubborn side of her though, insisted that her Kitty didn’t deserve to bear with any more emotional burdens. So she would swallow it down…for now. But he did need an explanation for her weird behavior. So she told him the truth…partially.

“Kitty, really…I…I just don’t feel like talking about it now. But I’m ok…I guess. I just don’t remember… how did I actually get here...?”

“I brought you back, of course!” His shoulders relaxed a little and Marinette held back a sigh of relief.

“Thank you, Adrien.” She was feeling quite powerless despite her attempt to hide her insecurities concerning that night with a tough façade. So her supposedly grateful and cheerful reply sounded more like a breathless whisper.

That was enough for Adrien to walk the few steps that were keeping them apart and reach for her small hand, holding it in both of his big and strong ones, but still allowing the gesture to be careful and gentle.

“Hey.” She looked up at him sheepishly. “You can count on me for everything and anything. You know that.” She allowed a now sincere small smile.

“I do know that. I guess I’m just…you know how much I hate feeling powerless.” She was still trying to keep from spilling everything that was going through her head, but she also trusted Adrien. And being honest with him wasn’t going to burden him…at least she hoped so. It would be better to tell him than to keep him worrying. She just needed to share part of it. “And last night…I felt like that. I had the very clear notion that I had lost you, and that I would never see you again, so I…I was just overwhelmed by waking up and being reminded that you’re here. And that you’re ok…”

Adrien pulled her into a hug, holding her firmly. Communicating in that simple gesture what words wouldn’t be so efficient on expressing _. I’m here. I care. I’ll look after you._ She looked as if diving into the topic any longer would make her break down and that was the last thing the young man could possibly want. Divided between learning the whole truth and making her feel better, it took him no longer than an instant to decide what to do. He would **_always_** put her on first on his list of priorities. No matter how much he wished he could understand what was going on inside her mind, on her thoughts and feelings, he would respect her time and her limits. Trying to make her feel better and protecting his friend and partner, who seemed to him at that moment as fragile as a porcelain doll, he did what he could do best and tried to make the mood a little lighter.

“Don’t worry, Mar. I’m planning on staying here to bug you for a long time. So you’re stuck with me. And with my puns.” He felt relieved to hear her laugh. _Much better_ he thought to himself, flashing her a happy smile.

“Do you really have to keep the puns going?” She was already replying back jokingly.

“You love my puns and you know that!” He displayed a sad frown, only to be rewarded with a not so soft punch in the arm. She rolled her eyes at him.

“You and I have work to do. Remember? Today is Saturday!”

“Yay! _Stranger Things_ Night!”

“That too. But before that?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Adrien looked elsewhere pretending the subject had nothing to do with him.

“Adrien Agreste. It’s clean up Saturday. Does that ring a bell?” Dropping the innocent façade, Adrien looked at her quite desperately.

“For Heaven’s sake, woman! Can’t we go on one Saturday without cleaning up the house?”

“Not after the incident last year, we can’t!”

“Pleeeeease Mari!!” Adrien looked at her with a glimpse of evil on his stare and she knew exactly what he was up to.

“DON’T YOU DARE-”

It was too late. Marinette couldn’t resist Adrien’s puppy eyes. She was sure it was an awful idea, but complied to it anyways. That goofball managed to soften her need for impeccable house environment…for that day!

“Ok, you dork. What do you want to do in the meantime?”

“Can we make some chocolate croissants??” He looked so cheerful!

“By we you mean me, right?” He looked at her with hopeful eyes and a bright smile.

“Pretty please?”

“Fine!”

________________________________________________________________

“Good heavens I’m so full!”

“I told you having five chocolate croissants was a bit much!” Marinette was holding back a laugh. Adrien always lost control when it came to chocolate croissants.

“Yeah, but again, it was so worth it.” He said it so seriously that Marinette burst out laughing.

“You’re hilarious, Kitty!” When her giggles were finally ceasing…

“Wouldn’t I know that.” Adrien wiggled his eyebrows up and down, making Marinette laugh even harder, getting back to where she was. After a few moments though, her stomach was already hurting and her head seemed a little lighter than it should have been, but she just let it slip, focusing on Adrien once again.

“Geez, just stop, I’ve gotta breathe!” Adrien smiled and stopped fooling around. He loved Marinette’s laugh. She seemed so free and light! It made the whole world brighter.

“So…what do we do now?” He had his croissants, now he was out of ideas.

“Clean up?”

“MARI!!”

“Ok, ok! I had to try!” Marinette suddenly had the perfect idea. “Why don’t we go over to the market, purchase a few ingredients and make a special dinner tonight? Then we can start _Stranger Things_ Night a little early and finish season 2! I need to know what will happen after last Saturday’s episode!”

“Sounds like a plan!”

Truth is…Marinette was starting to feel a little anxious and just wanted to get some time out and a breath of fresh air away from their house. The lights and colors of the market would probably subside her growing anxiety, and she would be fine for _Stranger Things_ Night, and things would be back to normal…at least she so hoped. She was feeling so good. Playing around with Adrien, cooking, laughing…it nearly felt like none of that had happened. It nearly felt like _that_ hadn’t tortured her during the night. She could only hope to feel okay again. So from that moment on, she forced herself to focus on other things. Like which ingredients she would need, on Adrien’s cheerful aura and bright smiles. That would be enough. For now.

_________________________________________________________________

Going to the market was a great idea. The crowded place made Marinette forget about the loneliness that was clinging into her mind, and the various smells and colors filled her mind with creative ideas and joy. They moved around looking for the things they’d need and Marinette had decided to make lasagna. She sure needed some comfort food.

“Mari, I think I’m going to prepare the dessert for tonight!” The surprise was evident on Marinette’s face.

“What are you planning to do, Kitty?”

“I was thinking about… _brigadeiro_ pie!” _Brigadeiro_ was a brazillian dessert and Adrien was crazy about it. One of the adaptations he found on the internet was the _Brigadeiro_ Pie and he had been excited to try it. Marinette thought it was really adorable that Adrien wanted to cook the dessert and she had to admit, she was curious about it, since she’d never tried Brazilian cuisine before. She would give it a go.

“I’m up for it! What do you need to buy?” Adrien named the ingredients and they bought the stuff for their dessert.

With their arms busy carrying the food bags, they rushed home and began preparing dinner. Between chopping, cutting, mixing, tasting, laughs, smiles and Adrien burning his tongue while trying to taste some of the _brigadeiro_ straight out of the pan, dinner was finally ready.

They had a small feast with all the delicious food. Marinette cooked some rice to eat along with the lasagna. Adrien said Brazilians usually did that. It was a nice combination. The _Brigadeiro_ Pie was also pretty good. But Marinette couldn’t eat as much as she wanted, because it was petty sweet. Adrien ate half of the thing by himself.

“Adrien, congrats, your _Brigadeiro_ Pie can be officially considered a success!”

“Thanks, Mari! The lasagna was fantastic as well. If I could, I’d eat more!”

“We can warm it up for lunch tomorrow.”

“True…now… _Stranger Things_ Night!”

“ _Stranger Things_ Night!” Marinette echoed. She already felt so much better. Thank goodness things were getting back to normal. She and Adrien organized and washed the dishes, and got to the living room to set up the TV show on Netflix.

__________________________________________________________________

After the final five episodes from season 2 and quite some theories about the final scene, Adrien gave out his tiredness by yawning sometime after they’d finished.

“You’re tired, Kitty, time to sleep.”

“I’m not even fighting you this time, I really am tired.” The boy replied mid yawn do her.

“Good night, Adrien.” Marinette ruffled his hair, feeling light and happy…and sleepy. Adrien was already snoozing softly when she left the living room. Picking up a blanket, she covered him up, and he adjusted himself on his sleep. He was way too cute. The young woman kissed the crown of his hair, mumbling “Sweet dreams, Kitty.” and went straight to her bedroom.

__________________________________________________________________

Adrien woke up startled in the middle of the night. He took an instant to acknowledge his surroundings, not remembering he had fallen asleep on the living room couch. He then noticed the blanket wrapped around him carefully, and allowed a lazy sleepy smile. _Marinette, for sure_. He thought to himself. He was trying to make sense of what woke him up. The young man had had no nightmares, was feeling pretty comfortable and yet something on the pit of his stomach told him something wasn’t right. He left the sleeping kwamis at peace and decided to go check up on Marinette, knowing she was probably fine, so it was mostly to calm down his clinging concern.

He was still pretty sleepy, swollen eyes and all. The windows revealed it was still late in the night, because it was pitch black dark outside. The boy had developed something of a cat sense to perceiving things in the dark, so he walked easily around the house, going to Marinette’s room, he stared at the door, suddenly feeling anxious.

He got in, and later he would learn two things.

One. Ignorance could be bliss.

Two. Knowledge could be terrifying.

Marinette…the vision made him heartbroken. Silent sobs erupted from her along with words she was mumbling that he couldn’t make sense of. She was tossing and turning from one side to another. _Nightmares…_ If Adrien was naïve he could pretend it was just an ordinary nightmare, as in something that could happen normally, but after the attack the day before, he knew it wasn’t a coincidence

He knew how Marinette reacted to nightmares during her sleep. He grew up with her, and in the few times it had happened she wasn’t the sobbing, mumbling, tossing and turning, crying type. She would wake up startled, pretty much like he had that night, and usually would go wake him up, whether he was on the chaise or on his own bedroom. They would talk for a while until she was feeling better, and then she would go back to sleep.

The Marinette he was seeing at that moment was unfamiliar to him.  He ran towards her, and tried to understand some of the words she was saying.

“Papa…Mama…Kitty…no…why?” the boy clenched his fists. “Please…I don’t want to be alone…” He recalled Nightmare’s words, and felt his blood go cold. _“You may have defeated me, but I’ve made her broken. And that, Chat Noir, I doubt you or Ladybug can fix.”_ _No…_   Adrien felt the panic slowly growing on his heart and mind. “No…please…not them… **please** …” the desperate and hopeless plea on Marinette’s words were enough to break him out of his thoughts. He couldn’t see her feeling so anguished. It hurt him. It truly, deeply hurt him.

He ran to her side, kneeling next to her bed. Reaching anxiously for her shoulders, he shook her as softly as he could, not to make matters worse. The tight grip on his heart strengthened when he saw her crinkled and sweaty forehead and the pain and paleness of her faze and expression. She wasn’t waking up. He shook her a little more, adding some more strength and talking to her.

“Marinette? Marinette, wake up! It’s ok.” She stopped tossing and turning at the sound of his voice, but she still hadn’t woken up, and the sobbing and mumbling hadn’t subsided. He kept shaking and talking to her. “Mari… I’m here, you’re ok, wake up.” Nothing. _Why isn’t she waking up?_ Minutes passed. Half an hour later, Adrien was extremely worried. It seemed Marinette had no more tears to cry, but her expression kept on full of pain, sadness and despair. The mumbling was unintelligible now, and Adrien was about to try and wake her up again, when she started to toss and turn, now even more intensely than before. Feeling like he was out of options, Adrien climbed on the bed next to his friend and hugged her body firmly, muttering soothing words to her, and cradling her against his body, she suddenly stopped moving all at once and now was only mumbling unintelligibly and kept on with the pained look on her face.

Feeling useless and concluding that was possibly the best he could do, he tried to get some sleep, while still holding on to Mari, wondering what sort of horrors were keeping Marinette so tense during the night, and fearing from the little he understood from her mumbling that he knew what some of them were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was pretty funny, intense and a bit sad to write. I kind of feel bad to put Marinette through such a difficult situation, but I'm excited to think about where the story is gonna go! And your reaction to it will help me see what do I have to work on, and where will it lead to! Hope you enjoyed it, feel free to talk to me on tumblr! My blog's name is "A Cat Who Loves Books". See ya, thank you so much for reading! :)


	6. What are friends for?

Marinette woke to the nearly overwhelming feeling of heat and yet comfort at the same time. Not understanding where it came from and why was she feeling so drained although she was sure she slept like a rock, she thought the next best idea would be to open her eyes and figure out where all the heat was coming from and why was her nose itching!

She only did not jump from her spot when she saw the arms around her waist because she instantly recognized the scent of Adrien. The familiar touch of grass, cologne and coconut shampoo. Well, both heat and comfort were explained. His blonde mane was rubbing partly on her nose, which explained the itching.  
Untangling herself carefully from his careful embrace, she tried to think of what might have caused him to come to her room. Most importantly, why he ended up on her bed. With her. Not that they hadn’t done it before, but still. Adrien always respected her privacy, and wouldn’t come to her room unannounced unless he had a nightmare ( but he never slept on her bed on those occasions...) or if she needed him around ( sickness scenarios usually when she depended on having someone to care for her).  
She felt fine.  
Hum. She’d have to wait ‘til he woke up to ask him. It was unusual, but she couldn’t give it much thought, the buzzing of her phone interrupting her mind’s chain of thought.

She reached for her phone on the nightstand and without checking the ID, answered with a still sleepy “Hello?”  
Only to jump out of her skin when the voice on the other side of the line started to shout at her.

“Girl, What were you thinking?”

Alya. Ok, she had no idea what her best friend ( besides Adrien, of course) meant, and her brain hadn’t caught up yet. The drained feeling catching up with her the longer she stayed up.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re just going to pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about?”

“No, Als. I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about.” She must have caught the sincerity in Marinette’s tone, because her next question came a lot quieter and softer.

“I’ve been sent some pictures of you running aimlessly from an Akuma, a couple nights ago, late in the evening. You clearly weren’t yourself, your eyes were dull, and you looked panicked, and exhausted, and...terrified. Why didn’t you say that you were attacked? Are you okay? Adrien must have freaked. I know I freaked. You can’t do that sort of stuff to me, Mari! I got crazy worried, and you wouldn’t pick up your phone...”

“Als.”

“...so I could only presume the worst. And you usually don’t keep important things from me, and I was just so worried...”

“Alya!”

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t even remember seeing anyone around, I was scared, tired and panicked, and the whole thing- it was pretty...hard on me. I’ve just been trying to forget about it. Chat Noir saved me after all, and took me home, and I just passed out. I didn’t want to worry you after things were solved, but I’m truly sorry for worrying you. Adrien was freaking out too, I just ...”

“ I get it, girl. Sounds like a lot to handle. Sorry for lashing out on you. I was just really worried. But next time you call me, ok? I didn’t post anything about it on the blog, the photos were from only one sender, and I asked him not to spread anything about the occurrence. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Do you want me to take you out for lunch? Take your mind off things, and catch up?”

“Yeah, that sounds great. I just need to let Adrien know, so he doesn’t worry. I’m heading over to work on an hour, but I’ll text you.”

Marinette absentmindedly brushed Adrien’s bangs away from his eyes, smiling softly at the tiny frown on the blonde’s face, that eased as she continued her ministrations.

“Gotta get breakfast ready, otherwise sleepy pants here will miss the first lesson of the day, and he just doesn’t need any more reason to worry for the rest of the month.”

Worrying her bottom lip, she remembered her despair, followed by the relief of knowing he was there for her. Then their dinner, the laughter. That boy was a true ray of sunshine in her life. She nearly missed what Alya said as she watched her Kitty sleeping soundly.

“Geez, you treat him like a kid.”

“That’s so not true!!”

“Fine, forget I said anything about it. Just take care, I’ll see you for lunch. Tell Adrien I said hi. And call me if you need me!!”

“Yes, ma’am.” Marinette said with a playfully serious tone.

“Good.”

“See you soon, Als.”

—————————

“So, what happened last night, Kitty?”

Adrien was munching on a loaf of bread, and sipping his hot chocolate. He hated coffee. Looking up at Marinette, he saw how slumped her shoulders were, eyes still a bit sore from all the crying, he presumed. She didn’t look like she remembered any of it though. That was...worrisome? Normal? Expected? He didn’t know.

“I woke up late in the night and went up to check on you, and found you tossing and turning, crying and mumbling things. It seemed you were having a nightmare.” He paused, lowering his gaze to his cup of hot chocolate as if it was the most interesting thing ever.

“I couldn’t wake you at all, and I was getting worried. You seemed a little calmer when I was close to you, s-so I thought although it was pretty much invading your privacy, and personal space for that fact, that the only thing I could do to at least try to soothe you, as you weren’t waking...w-was, well...staying. Sorry about that Mar.”

He was staring at the floor at the end of his explanation, feeling quite embarrassed about his behavior, but again, he was worried! And he couldn’t watch Marinette suffering without trying to do something to help. They grew up together, and weren’t like normal people concerning physical contact. But still, they had boundaries, and although Adrien knew that Marinette trusted him fully, he felt like he stepped over a boundary. And he didn’t like it. How did things get so awkward so fast?

“I guess desperate times do call for desperate measures, right?”

Head shooting back up to look at her, Adrien stared at his best friend, wide eyed and surprised. Marinette was a tad bit flushed, he assumed it was the heat of the day. Yup. It was definitely that. She had also a soft look on her eyes, a kind, sweet smile adorning her lips.

“Thanks. Sorry for disturbing your sleep, Kitty. I guess I was just really tired. This week has been anything but normal. But I don’t remember dreaming about anything bad...still, thank you for taking care of me. You always do that.” She mumbled the last part almost inaudibly, but Adrien heard it.

“Yeah. Always here, Mari. But are you sure you are feeling ok?”

She frowned a little, but soon her whole expression softened. “I guess so.”

“Good to know. Let me know if you need anything, ok? I’ll text you on the kid’s break.”

“Ok. Also, I’m going to have lunch with Alya, ok? A sender emailed her some pictures of me running from the Akuma, and she was really worried. I told her you freaked out too, but that I’m fine and that I’m just trying to move past it.”

“And is that true?”

“What?”

“Are you really feeling fine? You know you can tell me anything. You looked pretty disturbed last night.”

“I really don’t remember any of it. I just feel like even though I slept like a rock, I’m still drained. Besides, that, I feel normal.”

Adrien analyzed her expression for a few more seconds, deciding that she was telling him the truth.

“Ok, then. I’m heading out, otherwise I’ll be late, and my students are going to keep teasing me.”

Marinette giggled at the pout on the young man’s face. “Can you blame them though? You let your puns slip, that’s what happens, Kitty.”

“That’s mean! And my puns are purrfect. They just don’t have the proper appreciation for them.”

“If you say so. Who am I to contest?” She was trying to suppress a smile, failing miserably.

The blonde’s face lit up, and he got up to brush his teeth, take his briefcase, and leave for work. He yelled a goodbye, but just as he stepped out of the door...

“You forgot your glasses!”

Turning back on his heel, he nearly bumped into a halfway ready to work Marinette, holding his glasses with both hands. She settled them on his face, adjusting a lock of his hair that had escaped from his really-serious-but-not-really-but-I-still-do-style-my-hair-every-morning-for-work look.

“There you go. Now you’re good, go!” His best friend was way too precious for this world. He stepped closer and hugged her tight, releasing her when she told him she wasn’t breathing.

“Thanks for everything, Mari. See you later. Have a great day at work!”

“You too. And no need to thank me, Adrien. That’s just how we are. We always will protect and care for each other. Right?” Raising her hand in a fist bump, his grin was bright, just like a ray of sunshine, when he bumped his fist with hers.

“Couldn’t have said it better, My Lady.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sort of back! I’m not sure if I’ll write much more for this fic, but I got back to it. I’m loving to write Drabbles ( you can check those on my page here ok ao3), so I might get more into that. College, surgery, lots going on! But I’ll try to post a little more frequently, and perhaps wrapping up this project in the near future, as it holds a special place in my heart. :) thanks for reading! I’m on tumblr with the same name as my profile here! I’d love hearing from you! Ps: I know it’s a little small, but it will be easier for me to update more frequently if I write smaller chapters !


	7. The Fear and The Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I’m back! As I said last chapter, I’ll try to write smaller chapters, but make an effort to upload more frequently. Hope you like it! :)

Leaving her apartment complex, and opening up her umbrella, a young woman in the early hours of the morning sighed.

Marinette looked back one more time. She could see the buildings, the droplets of rain, the empty street. It was hard to accept that he wouldn’t come. She was refusing to believe he wouldn’t. But again, today was the day he told her he would be leaving.

She was hoping Adrien would come see her before he left. She couldn’t go to him to say goodbye, she just couldn’t. So she held on to the tiniest hope that he would come.

It was nearing the time her bus would stop by, and then she’d have to leave. And that would be it. Her best friend was leaving and she couldn’t do anything about it. She hated to see him leave when they were facing such a confusing and hurtful moment of their friendship. But she knew he had to go. A good....friend, would encourage him to go.

Marinette couldn’t describe what feelings composed the knot in her heart, but she was hurting, like a part of herself was being torn apart.

One last look. No one was coming. She hopped up on the bus, feeling lonely and sad, and lost, and sick, if she was being honest.

Sick? What did this have to do with anything...

Startled, she woke up, cold sweat on her forehead. And that was not the only thing. She felt truly sick. Tired, or better, drained, feverish, shaking and cold. She did not remember having felt like this the day before. She had only been extremely tired. All she remembered was having lunch with Alya. Her friend was quite anxious, as she recalled.

 

* * *

The day before

“Girl, you look awful.” Marinette rolled her eyes at her friend, giving her a flat look.

“Gee, Thanks, Als. That’s just what I needed to hear.” Alya just shrugged her shoulders and took a sip from her Iced Tea.

“You know I don’t lie to you. It looks as if you haven’t slept for days.”

“That’s just my face, thank you very much. Though I am feeling tired.”

Inspecting Marinette’s face, Alya could tell that something was bothering her. She seemed tense, and quite concerned.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” In front of the brunette, the tiny young woman sighed.

“Am I really that obvious?”

“Not for everyone. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I think my tiredness has something to do with the Akuma attack.” The raven haired woman let out in a quiet tone. Closing her eyes, waiting for Alya to freak out. Her reaction didn’t come, instead a warm hand squeezed hers, in a comforting gesture.

Opening her eyes, she met worry but kindness and tenderness in Alya’s hazel eyes. Sighing in relief, Marinette let out a relieved smile, squeezing her friend’s hand back.

Remembering their conversation’s topic made the smile slip from her lips, the young woman regaining a serious semblance.

“It’s been getting worse since the day after the attack.” Alya frowned at that bit of information.

“Girl, have you talked to Adrien about this?” Marinette guiltily looked down at her lap, hands fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt.   
“Mari, why haven’t you told him about this?”

“Alya, he was so worried. I don’t want to burden him, and I thought it would get better, but its been a little while, and I feel like it’s getting worse... and fast.”

“I think you need to talk to Adrien about this.”

“Als...”

“Mari, he’s your best friend and loves and cares about you. He’ll be even more worried if he’s in the dark about what’s going on.”

“I...I’m gonna tell him then.”

“It’s going to be the best for you, girl, and you know it.”

“Thanks, Als.”

 

* * *

  
The present

Marinette now recalled that she was gathering the courage to tell Adrien about the situation later that day, when he got home.

She was waiting for him on the living room couch. She was feeling so tired, she probably had drifted off to sleep. Trying to analyze her surroundings was a bad idea, her head spinning around, vision filled with black specks. From her stiff back, she was still on the couch, covered in a fluffy blanket.

A tiny smile made its way to her face, knowing that her Kitty was such a worried and adorably protective person.

The smile slid from her face as she acknowledged the full pain irradiating from her head.

Managing to sit, Marinette could still feel the world spinning, but slowly regaining a bit of stability. When she felt safe enough to stand, she only managed to reach the nearest door, before the lights of the living room came to life.

It was too much for her pain filled head, and hurting eyes. She felt as if she was about to pass out. Blinking enough times to be able to distinguish her surroundings, the sensation slowly subsided. She then turned her head towards the light switch at the other side of the living room, distinguishing the person standing at the doorstep more by instinct and memory than by visual comprehension.

“Hey, Mari. Slept well?”

Nodding was probably a bad idea, so she decided to use her voice.

“Yeah.” To day her voice was hoarse was understatement. She cleared her throat, making another attempt to speak. “Just fine.”

“You look...” Adrien was frowning, and she recalled Alya’s reaction earlier in that same day.

“If you say awful-“

“-Exhausted. And pale.” If she was pale before, she now probably resembled a ghost. It seems that Adrien’s acknowledgement of her condition made it all worse.

All her courage was slipping away, but at the same time, she knew she had to tell him right in that instant. Marinette felt herself growing colder, with the blood leaving her face, paling her face further. Wait. That was more than nervousness. Knowing something was wrong, she tried to reach the couch, sit before-

* * *

 

Marinette missed Adrien’s shell shocked expression, when she collapsed to the ground, falling like a rag doll, eyes rolling back inside her head.

Before her head could hit the ground, Adrien was next to her, taking her in his arms. Years of all the challenging situations left his reflexes towards his Lady as sharp as could be.

But the young woman was no longer conscious of her surroundings, or about anything that went on after collapsing. To say Adrien was worried and scared for Marinette’s behalf, was another understatement.

Gone was the idea of trying to tell him before the situation got worse.

In the small living room, Adrien tried to discern what he should do, focusing on being rational as much as he possibly could, while trying not to let the obscure part of his mind take control, telling him that his past would come back to take what little he was able to grow to love, to take everything from him again, and that he would once more be unable to stop it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...things are getting interesting! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, thank you so much for reading! Feedback is highly appreciated! If you want to see me on Tumblr, I’m nathynoir313 there! Hope you have a great rest of the week! :)


	8. The Sun and The Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m baaaaaack with another chapter! I already have some ideas for the next one, and I have to say, the angst is coming, my friends! Hope you’re enjoying the story, I love hearing everything you have to say! Hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

“I know you deserve much better  
Remember the time I told you the way that I felt. And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself!  
Let's hold onto each other above everything else...Start over, start over. I'll do whatever it takes, To turn this around! I know what's at stake...I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance...Believe that I can change  
I'll keep us together.  
Whatever it takes”  
Whatever It Takes - Lifehouse  
https://youtu.be/J_0aaokYCfc

 

Adrien suspected Marinette wasn’t well way before she collapsed. He considered himself a bound respecting person, so he didn’t push her to talk to him about it. Now he felt like he should have said something earlier anyways.

When she came running to him looking desperate.

When the bags under her eyes looked unnaturally dark, in the shortest amount of time he’d ever seen.

When he got home and saw Marinette’s frame shrunk on the couch, shivering, though it was not cold. He should have-

Before the self blaming cycle took over once more, he focused on letting his guilt and concern to the side, instead looking back at Marinette, who was breathing softly, completely unconscious. If it wasn’t for the sweat on her forehead and the stiffness of her body, he would say it was only about tiredness and exhaustion. But he had to bitterly admit that he knew what had really caused it all.

“You may have defeated me, but I’ve made her broken. And that, Chat Noir, I doubt you or Ladybug can fix.”

The last words from the akuma sent a wave of coldness down his spine, and Adrien wouldn’t accept that there might be truth to them.

Marinette was now shivering, and moving in her sleep, looking tense and frightened.

Feeling quite powerless, he gathered the shivering young woman carefully on his arms, called Plagg and Tikki, taking on his transformation, and taking Marinette to the one person who he knew would be able to provide answers and resolve the situation.

* * *

 “How long has it been since the attack?”

“Three days.”

Master Fu was pacing around his living room, his kwami, Wayzz, shooting looks of pity and concern towards Marinette. Adrien avoided thinking too much out of it, he was already stressed and worried. He didn’t need any more bad news.

“It’s going to get worse.”

That was not what he was needing nor wanted to hear.

“What?”

“It’s going to get worse. She wasn’t transformed, and she didn’t purify the city. She’s still going to feel the effects until...”

“Until what?”

“It’s too early to say. She’s only the second holder to go through such an ordeal.”

“What happened to the first holder?” He asked the question already fearing the answer.

Master Fu sighed deeply, turning to face Adrien with eyes filled with years of experience and sadness. The master had never looked so sorrowful in the young men’s eyes. The concern and sorrow that emanated from the master made Adrien’s heart clench, anticipating bad news. News he yet did not know if he would be able to handle.

“She passed away a couple days after the attack. The mental damage was too much for her, and her body became much more vulnerable in the condition of hours after the fight. The akuma that attacked her was stronger than the one that attacked Marinette, so I can’t predict what the consequences will be.”

Adrien excused himself, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hold himself together if he was seeing Marinette laying on the couch, shivering, looking so small, and imagining anything close to what Master Fu had just said happening to her.

So he left the room, going to the Master’s backyard to have some fresh air. His composure was lost the moment he stepped out, and silent tears escaped in a waterfall of sorrow and pain, the strong young men collapsing on the bench close to him, with his hands over his face.

Why her? Why did this have to happen to the one person he couldn’t bear to lose? Marinette had become to him someone that meant more than family. She meant...the world to him. She had gathered his broken feelings as a kid, no older than himself at the time, and loyally and lovingly guided him to see that he was meant and that he deserved to have a happy life. He had that right. For so much time he leaned on her light, until he finally felt as if he had acquired his own.

But it was all a fragile balance.

Losing the sun would be too painful for the glow of the moon and stars. They lived together in the sky, depending on each other, holding each other’s backs while the other had to rest. The sky would never be the same without the soft glow of early mornings, the sweet touch of sunset and the thrilling shimmer on summer days.

Adrien couldn’t lose his sun. She didn’t deserve that. And egoistically, he thought to himself that he didn’t deserve that either. It was too high of a price. To ask him to cut the roots, extinguish the strength in them he had struggled so hard, but so fondly cared for and cherished. Marinette was intrinsically involved on his roots. And he didn’t know if he would ever be strong enough to start from scratch. He didn’t think he could do it.

His heart hurt. Everything hurt. But he had to go back. He wouldn’t go down without a fight. He wouldn’t let her go without a fight. If there was anything, anything at all he could do to impede her eminent fall, he would do it. He would be there for her, just like she always was for him. If the sun was fading, he would try ten times harder to give her the support she needed, so she can go back to her position in the sky, brightening everything she touched with her light.

So heading back to the living room, Adrien talked to the Master a little longer, planning his next moves.

“What can I do to help her?”

“She has to let go of anything and everything that tired her, leave her activities to a minimum. Any big effort she makes will make her body more vulnerable, and her health more fragile. She has to rest as much as possible, while I try to come up with a solution.”

“But that would mean...”

“She can’t be Ladybug. Not while she’s like this.”

Adrien knew battles would be harder, but he could purify akumas. Thank goodness. He could do the work so she could rest.

“Then I’lol step up as Chat Noir by myself for now. It won’t be so bad.”

Master Fu looked at the boy with concern in his eyes.

“You remember, Adrien Agreste, what I first told you when you received your Miraculous.”

Adrien didn’t hesitate. It was one of the best things to ever happen to him. Only after Marinette...

“You told me that Ladybug and I balanced each other. That while we were close and fought together, we would be our strongest. But that doesn’t mean I can’t handle things for now. I won’t let her put herself on any more danger. “

“That’s not what I’m suggesting. You, my boy, forgot the part in which I said ‘You can only purify akumas without endangering yourself as long as she’s with you, or close to you. “

The master stared at the boy with saddened eyes.

“That means that each time you go to battle without her, you will receive part of the effects from her current condition.”

“Will that relieve her pain?” Adrien mumbled so low, that the Master nearly lost his words, but it was Wayzz who answered.

“Yes. But it will hurt you in return.” The kwami replied, ancient eyes staring at Adrien.

“Then I’m fine with it. As long as it takes part of her pain and helps her stay healthy until we can figure this out...” Adrien looked back to the woman he loved so dearly, and on whom he had always counted on. She needed him now, and he would not fail her. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... things are about to get angsty! Any feedback is highly appreciated! If you wish, come to talk to me on tumblr, I’m there with the same username as here, and the blog is A Cat Who Loves Books! Thank you so much for reading! I’ll (hopefully) be back soon! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey again! If you're able, please leave me some feedback on what you've liked/disliked and on what I can improve! Depending on the response I get and on how inspired I am, I'll try to post a continuation, or something of the sort! Thank you for reading! :)


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